“Shame is the world’s weapon we turn on ourselves.”
Download discussion questions: 1 Peter 3:8-17
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I encourage you to look at the passage in 1 Peter before you read this Blog entry. What do you see in the text yourself? What questions come to your mind? How would you interpret what the writer says? After even a few minutes examining and thinking about the text you will be much better prepared to evaluate the comments in the Blog.
A paragraph (in Scripture or any document) that begins with the words “to sum up” deserves special attention. How well have we understood the first two and a half chapters? Peter wants to be certain that we have followed his thinking so far. We want to be sure we haven’t missed his main point by following some tangent of our own. Such a summary would be helpful in the original context of a letter. As we have studied short sections spread over seventeen weeks, the review is especially valuable. What do we need to remember from the first half of his letter? What is our starting point as we continue into the rest of his inspired instructions?
Blessing: For Us or From Us?
Early in his summing-up section, Peter offers a clear statement of purpose (another word that should stir our interest).
…giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9b)
So what exactly is the purpose we were called for in this context? Does Peter point back to “giving a blessing” to others? Or is he pointing forward to “inherit a blessing”? Someone in our discussion pointed out that the two are closely linked. Is the purpose Peter has in mind a general combination of both? Or is he being more specific about an intended purpose and an expected result?
The practical description that precedes Peter’s purpose phrase is all about relational responses to others.
…be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult… (3:8b-9a)
He describes our part in giving a blessing to others. Our inheritance of blessing was his focus earlier in the letter (e.g., 1:3-12). He follows “giving a blessing” with the expected result, “so that you may inherit a blessing” (NIV).
This is an example where comparing translations can be helpful. The NASB used in the handout is not as clear as the NIV or ESV for example:[1]
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- …repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (NIV)
- …bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing (ESV)
- …blessing, because to this you were called, so that the blessing you should inherit (Bible Hub Interlinear)[2]
Compare Peter’s statement about our Christian calling with God’s call of Abraham.
Now the Lord said to Abram,
“Go forth from your country,
And from your relatives
And from your father’s house,
To the land which I will show you;
2 And I will make you a great nation,
And I will bless you,
And make your name great;
And so you shall be a blessing;
3 And I will bless those who bless you,
And the one who curses you I will curse.
And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.”
Genesis 12:1-3 (emphasis added)
As with Abraham (for us as his true children, Romans 9:8, Galatians 3:7, 29), the purpose of our calling is to bless others. The blessing we receive (in our present life as well as our eternal inheritance) is the result. The purpose, being a blessing to others, guides our attitudes and actions in our relating to others (cf. v.8). Anticipating the result, our inheritance, is the motivation that enables that difficult lifestyle.
A Counter-Cultural Life
No one in our group disagreed about the level of difficulty in Peter’s “summing up.” He describes situations we all face in varying degrees: evil treatment and insults (v. 9), intimidation (v. 14), slander and criticism for following Christ (v. 16). The abuse may be overt (ridicule or rejection), or more often it may be subtle: an offensive passive-aggressive comment, or a sarcastic remark, perhaps a rude slur veiled as humor. Friendships, family relationships, job security may be threatened. What does Peter expect from us?
…be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; (v. 8-9a)
And his words have a perfect precedent.
Who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, (2:22b‑23a)
Our natural, immediate response is, as someone described it, to respond in kind (exactly the opposite of the example Jesus gave us). We feel the need, even the necessity, to protect our dignity, to preserve our reputation, to “win” the verbal contest. That reaction is the standard of our culture, powerfully reinforced by interactions on social media (“FaceTwit”) and infecting everyday interactions with strangers and even among those closest to us. A Christlike response, one that is harmonious and sympathetic, is considered odd at best, or ultimately, as a weakness. That perception of weakness feeds our passion to retaliate, to prove ourselves.
Set Apart
But Peter’s instructions provide an opportunity. A response to insults or intimidation that is harmonious, kindhearted, etc., may invite more abuse (the risk we take). But instead, it might be so atypical that it provokes curiosity. A member of our group commented that some people are “looking for a fight” or simply trying to push to a breaking point to discredit a believer. But an unexpected response that “gives a blessing” (or even silence) can raise questions.
A “humble in spirit” person (v. 8b) is a cultural anomaly. The unpleasantness of so many interactions on social media or in politics throughout our society might even highlight the distinctiveness of such a response. There may be a variety of questions, some sarcastic, some sincere. Peter summarizes those questions around the word “hope.”
…always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you… (v. 15b)
The hope Peter expects us to display grows out of his earlier words, our imperishable and undefiled and unfading inheritance (1:4), our joy inexpressible and full of glory (1:8), our redemption with the precious blood of Christ (1:19), being a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of God’s own possession (2:9). He expects his readers (then and now) to be delighted by those staggering certainties. His “summing up” describes the hope growing out of that delight: “harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit.”
Hope that is vague and superficial is unlikely to produce that kind of response in a confrontation. But a deep, specific hope (as Peter provides) can override or even eliminate our natural “response in kind.”
Peter offers the key to living out that hope in our relational responses to unpleasant interactions.
But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, … (v. 14-15a)
Sanctify, or set apart, Christ as Lord. Peter’s instruction is specific. Christ as Lord is the One we look to for our hope and whose example we follow. A person in our group pointed back to the quotation from Psalm 34 which Peter includes. When we feel the need to “respond in kind,” we do not need to answer the insult or defend against the intimidation.
For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
and His ears attend to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. (1 Peter 1:12, Psalm 34:15-16a)
The rest of the psalm[3] exults in God and affirms trust in Him. That context would have been immediately familiar to readers with a Jewish heritage. He is the Lord who
I can trust, and my identity and my hope are in Him. Those truths must replace the cultural lies absorbed over a lifetime, lies about standing up for my rights and defending the image I want to project to others.
Setting Christ apart as Lord over our circumstances enables us to live according to the hope He provides. Humility as we trust Him means we don’t need to prove ourselves or win verbal battles. Instead, we can give a blessing because we are continually aware of the overwhelming blessing of our eternal inheritance.
Really?
Our ever-practical group wrestled with the reality. A person commented that agreeing with all that Scripture says and all we have discussed is one thing. But ultimately, “How much **** do I have to put up with?” and “We have Jesus’ example, but I’m not Jesus.”
Someone else observed, “We have a high calling that we can’t live up to. Sometimes I don’t even want to. Many of us will battle our short fuse for the rest of this earthly life.”
Our discussion considered various aspects and perspectives.
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- We often believe lies embedded in our minds throughout our life. (“I have to prove myself.” “I can’t let someone make me look foolish.” “If I fail, I am nothing.” And many more.) We need to consciously identify these lies (an important function of community and soul care, listening and responding in ways that help us to understand our inner world) and replace the lies with the truth that Peter and the rest of Scripture provide about our identity in Christ.
- We’re not Jesus, and we don’t have to be. He has already suffered and died and risen and ascended. He sent His Spirit to live in us to enable us to imitate His example, however imperfectly, as we struggle to grow in following Him.
- Remembering the hope of our eternal inheritance doesn’t always happen spontaneously in the face of hostility. When it does, it is certainly the work of the Holy Spirit. But even then, our emotions may override our better judgment, ignoring His prompting. The hope that can sustain us during a confrontation is built before the crisis. We can study and think about the glorious character of God who we will enjoy forever. We can remind one another of that eternally increasing joy. Thinking about our future in paradise will stir that hope when hope is most needed.
- Remembering that “I’m not Jesus” should not cause discouragement but rather should grow our humility. Not being Jesus should turn our focus more on Him, not on ourselves and our obvious inadequacies. Often our defensive, self-protective reactions stem from a lack of genuine, deep-seated humility, so we try to solve the situation on our own using our own verbal weapons. Growing in humility means seeing more of the glory and greatness of Jesus. That will enable us to turn to Him in trust rather than our own resources. As someone put it, “Nobody sees the Grand Canyon and says, ‘Wow, look how great I am.’” Seeing more of Jesus, setting Him apart in our thinking, will reduce our need for self-protection.
Failure, Shame, and Guilt
An encouraging passage and a positive discussion do not prevent the possibility of failure. What happens when we face a difficult situation and are not “harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit”? We talked about our response to failure.
Our pre-programmed response to our own failure is shame and guilt. We get discouraged. We beat ourselves up (maybe so God won’t have to, someone added). We try to manufacture contrition was another suggestion.
One member of our group noted that shame is the world’s weapon, and we turn it on ourselves when we fail. But as another observed, that is a sinful response to sin. Shame implies that God’s grace is not enough, that Christ’s death was inadequate for our sin.
Someone brought up a critical distinction between guilt and shame from a discussion almost a year ago.
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- Guilt says you did something Guilt turns us outward, mourning sin against God and against others. Guilt is relational and is ultimately God-obsessed. Guilt leads us to repentance and to rejoicing over God’s forgiveness.
- Shame says you are Shame turns us inward, mourning my embarrassment and how others perceive me. Shame is behavioral and is ultimately self-obsessed. Shame spirals us away from God’s grace, feeling shame because of our shame.
We can remind each other of the destructive nature of shame and the redemptive reality of guilt that draws us to God. As one member has shared before, God revealing sin in our life should be an opportunity for joy. He is showing us a barrier to nearness to Him that He wants to remove.
The distinction between guilt and shame is another helpful reminder. Can I honestly look at my reaction to failure and see where I am inwardly self-obsessed? Can I reject that lie? Can I turn to the grace of God and rejoice in His mercy that reveals my weakness to me? Then my repentance can draw me closer to Him.
Dante provides a great picture of failure and guilt and shame in his Divine Comedy. Ignoring for the moment our Protestant aversion to purgatory, consider the scenario in Dante’s fictional poem. The central the character in the story is about to leave purgatory to enter the edges of paradise. But shame has no place in paradise. In the restored earthly garden of Eden, he drinks from two rivers, Lethe and Eunoë, with the following results.
The blessed …remain untroubled in their ecstasy…We must first of all remember the action of the two streams of Lethe and Eunoë, of which all souls drink in the Earthly Paradise on their way to Heaven. Lethe destroys all memory of guilt and shame and sin: Eunoë restores the memory of the sin as a historical fact, but the accompanying unhappiness remains forgotten – the sin is remembered only as the glad occasion of God’s gracious mercy and forgiveness.[4]
Dante’s image can help us in our failures. We remember the historical fact, and that memory forms the basis of our repentance. Our remembered sin is “the glad occasion of God’s gracious mercy and forgiveness.”
[1] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Peter%203%3A9&version=NIV,ESV
[2] https://biblehub.com/interlinear/1_peter/3-9.htm
[3] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2034&version=NASB1995
[4] Dorothy L. Sayers, Introductory Papers on Dante: The Poet Alive In His Writings (Eugene, Oregon: Wipf and Stock Publishers, 1954), 60.