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As our group was reading this passage prior to our discussion, it occurred to me that 1 Peter 3 is full of ideas very out of step with our culture:

• Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands (v. 1)
• Husbands…treat your wives with respect as the weaker partner (v. 7)
• Do not repay evil with evil (v. 9 – “No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm” in The Message.)
• Even if you suffer for what is right…(v. 14)
• If it is God’s will to suffer … (v. 17)

Submission and suffering are woven together through this passage.  Our culture wants nothing to do with either outdated concept.  Western civilization is committed to comfort and freedom from pain, and suffering is never good.  Western culture is committed to individual autonomy, defending my rights, getting even, not being subject to anyone or anything else.  Peter’s instructions are radically countercultural today.

Peter’s instructions were radically countercultural in the first century as well.  Women were property, so the behavior he requires of husbands (respect, consideration) would put them completely out of step with their peers.  A husband who considered his wife an “equal heir” of anything (such as God’s inheritance) would be considered peculiar, even the subject of ridicule.  A woman who rejected her only claim to social respect by her elaborate fashion would seem completely out of place.  No wonder Peter assumes followers of Christ will be the victims of “malicious speech” (v. 16).  Those who are so completely out of step are bound to attract attention.

We discussed several of Peter’s instructions that seem so out of step today.  Many women might bristle at the description as the “weaker partner.”  Peter’s description of wives as “fellow heirs” completely eliminates the idea of inferiority.  Perhaps physical weakness was intended, and certainly women then (and now) can be at a disadvantage socially or economically.  “Vulnerable” was the adjective we agreed on.  Rather than take advantage of a wife’s vulnerability, husbands are to respect them (a radical idea for many men).

Suffering as a part of God’s will (v. 17), and especially when we do what is right (v. 14), is inconceivable to many moderns.  That suffering often is a perplexing idea to committed Christians.  Even when we can accept the idea theologically, we are usually slow to recognize the possibility in our own problems.  However, Peter’s whole argument is based on the example we are to follow (1 Peter 2:23).  Following that example (“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten”) may be the most difficult part of Peter’s prohibitions about repaying evil with evil or insult with insult (v. 9).  It is so easy to feel justified in defending ourselves or standing up for what is right, to retaliate with words that are cutting or clever, and maybe even true.  Peter’s instructions and Christ’s example can make us look weak and unable to defend ourselves or support what we believe.  Others may react and “speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ” (v. 16).

But others may be prompted to ask questions.  Being so completely out of step with culture can result in criticism and curiosity.  This passage, interweaving submission and suffering, is the context for the often-quoted exhortation, “Always be prepared to give an answer” (v. 15).  Those words can inspire students of apologetics (the rational defense of the faith), but it should be noted that the context is not about theological outlines and philosophical arguments.  The context is submission and suffering.  Some people will observe how we practice submission and how we respond to suffering.  Like Peter’s encouragement to wives (v. 1), our lives can provoke questions in unbelievers.  An observer who would not listen to a sermon might be prompted to ask a question and be genuinely interested in listening to the response.  As Christian writer Larry Crabb suggests, “Never answer a question that your life has not provoked the person to ask.”[1]  Our out-of-step submission and suffering should be provoking questions from those around us.  May our response point them to Jesus’ submission and suffering.  When His submission and suffering are clearly seen, it produces a response, “Surely this man was the Son of God” (Mark 15:39).

[1] Although I have heard Larry say this on several occasions, I do not have a particular citation to any of his writings.